and now its too late for a soliloquy. way too late for dignity.

.



because this week has been defined by one major sentiment,
which is:

wow. that actually happened. that just actually happened.


because this week has been defined by that, i'm going to offer up a really amazing piece of music, and leave it at that.

until we all get some distance from here.

until i'm no longer captured by the feeling that everything is proof of causality. until the incidence and prevalence of seemingly random chance occurrences truly seems random, again.
until my sensitivity to everything seems a little more relative, a little less co-opted by circumstances that i know, deep down, are purely situational. are not leading anywhere.
(not everything is leading somewhere, not everything is part of a plan, not everything gets resolved.)

physics holds that everything moves towards entropy. and biology holds that everything moves towards equilibrium. and i hold that both of those are true, yet find myself wondering what it is, exactly, that is moving now...


there this theory about the world, and i'm not saying i subscribe to it, but theres this theory that says anytime someone in the world figures out exactly how everything works, the second any human mind fully comprehends whatever divine plan or mathematical formula structures the world, the entire universe instantaneously ends. and everything starts all over again -- but replaced with a system just slightly little more complex.

the point being:

that the moment you are positive you know the answer -- that you've been on track and have it all wrapped up and filled out and squared away -- thats the second you can be sure you probably have no clue what is actually going on, and everything will get turned upside down.




sorry to those who read this in order to glean some substantial political tidbit or otherwise opinionated commentary. i have nothing to offer you today. do you want excuses? feel free to ask me for some, and i will feel free to laugh right in your face. and maybe lie. probably both.


alright, one thing:

if you haven't seen these ads which have been appearing on MTV:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgpwSkMZn1Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r-aL2NKPys

watch them immediately. i've seen them 4 or 5 times and still don't know how i feel about them, although, i do know that several things are scary, albeit which one has the highest proportion of "scary" to "fucked-up-ness" is up in the air --

a) the ads themselves?
b) the juxtaposition of a holocaust pop-culture faux-activist ad campaign with "The Hills"?
c) the really terrifying reaction online. both from right-wing pundits and from the true crazies who feel no need for censorship, on youtube?


i'll think about it and come back to that another day.

instead... just listen to this track, maybe in your car if you can manage that, maybe at sunset on a back road, maybe with the windows down.
you know. if that can be arranged.